Our culture is obsessed with comfort. Collectively we have been coddled by modernity. We want more legroom, softer mattresses, and any vehicle that will save us from physically moving our bodies. Get in a time machine and travel to any generation before us and you'll be the softest, most sensitive soul around. Our hunter/gatherer ancestors, whose genes we still carry, would be stunned. Perhaps they are stunned inside of us at this very moment.

Suffering, inconvenience, and exertion are part of life. Just like one must experience heartbreak to get love, and betrayal to grasp trust; we must truly learn how to hold suffering to appreciate its absence: the sweet state of being at ease. 

There is also a life principle at work. Accomplishing the best stuff involves pushing past challenges and imagined limitations. To become a better person one must take the Hero's Journey, walk into the dark cave, and face some tough things. If we don't learn how to frame hardship properly on the front side of life, it will find us truly unprepared on the backside. 

The easiest realm in which to learn the virtue of suffering is in the physical. For that reason I organize Tuesday Trail Runs. Once a week we interval run up a small mountain in about 7 stages. The idea is to complete each segment with almost nothing in the tank and RPMs hovering at the edge of the red zone. Often I'll cry out in relief at the breaks as the powerful sensation of exertion giving way to rest floods my body. The more tension I hold on the segment, the more powerful the wave of glorious release. 

On the trail the mechanisms of the self defeating mind get real clear. The first ascent triggers a cacophony of arguments to quit or walk. I treat this first chunk as chance to watch the modern mind's resistance to exertion. It's a phenomenal exposé of excuses. 

On the second segment I cycle through empowering narratives to replace the weak ones. 

• Positive self talk - "I'm Jonathan Legg. I've done this and that. I swallow hills like breath mints."
• Addressing the haters - All the grade school bullies, all the naysayers, and the disbelievers think I'll give up. I'll stop running. Well just watch. 
• Tapping into the ancestor DNA - For hundreds of thousands of years... millions... our Homo Erectus and Homo Sapien ancestors successfully ran down prey and escaped predators. Their genes are inside us. They are fairly out of place in this modern world (which has something to do with all the anxiety we feel), but running with others on a trail is their jam. 

For all other segments I settle on the technique that works best: Mindfulness and presence. 

• I watch the trial and surroundings intensely
• I smell the trail
• I feel the air on my skin 
• I feel my body parts moving 

And, most importantly, I zone in on that sensation of hardship.. that feeling that's making my face grimace, my legs burn, my lungs heave.

• What does this sensation exactly feel like in my body? 
• Up to what level can I just hold the energy and keep chugging?
• Must I grimace or can I smile? Does it have to be serious or can in be playful?

Hardship is a fascinating state that most of us work so hard to avoid. I encourage you to start a practice where you can hold and examine it. You'll find that what you were afraid of isn't so bad. It isn't bad at all. There is a side of you to  explore there.

 If you find yourself in LA, join me on my trail runs

​Here is a quote from gotquestions.org, a Christian site (highlights added):

"We are still surrounded by all the horrors and tragedy of this life, but this is not our life. The knowledge that we are not of this world gives Christians hope even in the darkest times; hope that this will pass and at the end of it we will be in heaven with our God, face to face forever. This cracked and broken place is not where we belong, and it is not where we will stay.

The appeal of this philosophy is evident. The challenges we have as a species are stressful. Watching the news is like consuming anxiety. What a relief to completely wash one's hands of all global problems with zero guilt. Stand by, ride it out, and grab your flight to paradise.

But what if this conjecture is wrong? It's impossible to verify stories of an afterlife. We see, hear, taste, smell, and feel the world every day. If this reality, confirmed by our physical senses, is our home then NOTW becomes a disastrous manifesto of non-responsibility. A bad idea that has spread past Christianity. 

Recently I was at the University of Santa Monica, a school offering a spiritual degree in philosophy. This same concept was passed around in different clothing. One man, addressing the entire room with a microphone, began a long, rambling thought with, "We all know that this world is not our home..."

This perception even permeates the secular world. Look up from your screen and you'll likely feel a sense of subject and object with everything you see. There is a clear border between "you" and "not you". But is it really so distinct?

To challenge the idea here are a few questions to ponder:

• We all currently carry more bacteria DNA inside our skin than human DNA. Is this bacteria also NOTW? Are they spiritual beings having a bacterial existence? Does the bacteria have any idea that they are assisting a human in necessary body functions (like digestion), or do they believe they are also distinct  creatures making their own choices?
• Around 6 million years ago there was just one creature which eventually branched to become humans, chimpanzees, and bonobos. Are chimps and bonobos also NOTW or spiritual beings having a primate experience? How about bottlenose dolphins which have bigger brains than humans? Exactly where is the line between worldly creatures and spiritual ones?
• In all our cells there is oxygen that came from flora. Our muscles are made of protein which came from animals and plants. Our system requires minerals like calcium, zinc, and magnesium. Are all these things NOTW or do they become spiritual entities only after entering our mouths and lungs?

"Hold on Jonny", one might say, "there is a difference between the body and the spirit." We have a spirit that is NOTW... that's the real us. OK. Let’s think about our spirit and how it might resemble the person our friends and family know. 

What makes Jonathan Legg different than you?

•  We look different.
• We have different affectations.
• We perceive events differently. 

These differences are mostly attributed to our DNA (a worldly thing) and early childhood experiences (which occurred in this world). In fact, almost everything that defines us comes from the physical organization of our bodies and brains.

Imagine a steel bar falls off a construction site and lands on my head. Instantly the brain is reorganized. My travel stories and a sense of adventure disappear.  The new man remembers nothing about Jonathan Legg. However, he is a much more peaceful and kind person. When this man dies what does his spirit feel like: Jonathan Legg with his sense of adventure or the man who doesn't like to travel, but is extra compassionate?

The steel bar is unnecessary. This restructuring is happening every day.

This brain (and body) of ours is constantly reorganizing in a slower fashion. Brains at 2 years, 30, 90, and 'recently dead' are assembled differently, with profound affects on perception and behavior. Which version determines the characteristics of the spirit? Would a person to be lucky to die at 30 (to have a spirit in its prime), unlucky to die with Alzheimers, and terribly unfortunate to die while in a coma? 

If this undocumented spirit, flying off into eternity, resembles none of these personalities, with no cognition of former selves, why do we cling so tightly to this phantom?

Here is the answer: the "spirit" is an escape capsule for the ego. A doomsday shelter for the pending identity apocalypse. 

So you had a little travel fling.. right on! Romantic connection is a beautiful, enlivening thing, It's a mind expanding experience (if you are actually taking interest in the contents of each other's brains). 
 
Now you're back home and still flirting over a texting app. An invitation appears: "Come back and see me." You flip open your laptop and start browsing flights. 

It's an admirable move. The mark of a romantic soul. However, let's adjust expectations and strategy before buying that ticket. Misadventure may await you. Are you ready for it?
Consider this:

• There will be a disparity that didn't exist before - When the love began you had an agenda. You were traveling around Europe on a rail pass, or paragliding the Alps, or on some work project. You carved time out of that mission to make the romance happen. You may have been traveling with friends. You carved time out from hanging with your buddies to make the romance happen. The lover carved time out of their scene to be with you. These time choices send an appealing signal. Now you have no homies to hang with and you have a singular agenda. Meanwhile, they still have their friends to see, their work to do, their hobbies to pursue, etc. It's a whole different dynamic. There is an imbalance.
• The chemistry may not be there the second time around - How many romances have fizzled on the second or third date? Happens all the time. You both get a little familiar and discover unpalatable differences. He actually drinks way too much. She doesn't like the outdoors at all. It sure is nice to discover these differences down the block instead of oceans away.
• You could easily be stepping into a love triangle - Super common. Rocco tells Maria he needs a break. Maria goes out with her friends and meets you. Romance ensues. You're more exciting than Rocco has been for years, but you're also an unstable bet for anything long term. You go home which cements this point. Rocco comes back into the scene but he is halfhearted. Maria, feeling underappreciated, invites you back. When your ticket is booked she lets a little intel leak, giving Rocco a strategic hint: He better up his game.. there is a competitor on the way. Rocco doubles down to ward off the threat. He's all flowers and candlelight dinners now. You sit in the hotel room wondering when she's going to meet up. Enjoy your stay.

These are ever present possibilities, but don't be dissuaded. Instead, change your perspective and approach:

• Have an agenda - Come into the town with some purpose. Shoot a short film, take a yoga course, visit every crēperie in town and blog about the experience. Now you've got your own stuff going on... good for the relationship parity, and good for you.
• Prepare for absolute disaster - Develop a plan B in case things go in a direction you don't want to walk. Find a destination nearby you'd like to explore and be ready to turn your trip, or part of it, into an exploration of this new place.
• Suggest neutral ground - Instead of going to his/her homecourt, why not go somewhere that is new for both of you. A spot where neither person has work or friendship obligations. Find a special place where you can have an adventure together, sealing that moment in time as something uniquely shared between the two of you.

Revisiting a travel fling is always a toss of the dice, but with the right preparation you can stack the odds in favor of a winning roll. By setting a realistic frame and controling expectations one can have a memorable trip no matter which numbers turn up. And remember the goal is that both people end up feeling empowered from this interaction. Let's all leave a trail of beautiful memories in our wake. Be honest. Be kind. Be your best self. 

The "fearful creature" mentioned in the video has pointed out that I did not provide any solutions for what author Johann Hari has called the "ego addiction", an unhealthy attachment to self that is isolating us from each other. Here are my best ideas to scale that back:

1. Meditation - One of the gradual effects of prolonged meditation practice is witnessing the non-duality of existence. Over time it begins to tear the curtain of the separate self. A specific kind of meditation, called Loving-Kindness, is designed to transfer feelings of well-being to others.
2. Travel - When journeys are about connecting with the people (as opposed to checking off landmarks), deep commonalities with the rest of humanity will appear and resonate like gospel.
3. Tribe - Cultivating a group of inspirational friends, peers, and mentors within a framework of honesty and vulnerability will go far to put an ego in healthy balance.
4. Psychedelics - I hesitate to write this because of the failure of language* and malicious political policy**. The scientific community has recently returned to these substances for their value. As a device for deconstructing the ego nothing works faster. Eat three grams of psilocybin mushrooms and within an hour something akin to mythological phenomena will occur, shredding the illusion that you are a lonely soldier trudging through a foreign world.  But... This is advanced level shit. You must be ready to scale the perilous mountain to see the oracle, arriving with intention and respect. You must heed the principles of set and setting. You should have a knowledgable, trustworthy***, and calm sitter to guide the initial experiences.
5. Books - Lost Connections by Johann Hari, Civilized to Death by Christopher Ryan (preorders), Sapiens by Yuval Harari, and a healthy amount of serious fiction (which is shown to make us more empathetic). 

* The term "drugs" is used to cover everything from caffeine to aspirin to crack to magic mushrooms. Clearly there is a difference between sipping a cup of coffee and injected heroin into a vein. We need new vocabulary that does not lump all mood altering substances under the same tainted banner. 

** The "war on drugs" has been one of the most destructive and evil forces humanity has unleashed on itself, responsible for many more deaths than the drugs it purports to combat. It is fueled by hypocrisy, racism, and greed. To uncover the full perniciousness of these policies I'd recommend the documentaries 13th and America's War on Drugs as well as the book Chasing the Scream.

*** I've heard terrible stories of charlatans taking advantage of the vulnerable. Specifically if you plan to go to South America to experience an Ayahuasca ceremony vet your shaman very carefully.

Last Spring I made a blogpost which featured my pixelated buttocks. ​The post appeared on a popular hiking Facebook page. While most comments were supportive, a couple men blasted me. They were profoundly offended to see a bottom even blurred. One dude told me I should register as a sex offender. 

When did these men consciously decided they found the gluteus muscles (and the skin and fat which surround them) so offensive? Did they sit down one day to figure out which body parts were cool and which shameful? Of course not. They were impressed at a very young age through a variety of mediums.

Now I had my awareness completely on the subject. What was wrong with the backside of the human body? For that matter, what was embarrassing about the frontside? Did we not all have similar features from little innocent babies to sweet old grandparents? I couldn't seem too find fault with this design when putting full reason on it. 

However, the disesteem for ourselves runs deep. So deep that I discovered a new pocket of it under the full moon in Goa, India. Once again the matter cleared up when put under the full gaze of awareness and query**.

Have you had a similar experience? 

*Book reference in video is Lost Connections by Johann Hari. He speaks about some of these thoughts on this podcast.

**There are some thorns imbedded so deep, however, that noticing them is just the beginning of a long process of pulling them out. The most pernicious, given to us by the same advertisers who have contributed to body shame, is materialism. Extrinsic thinking that acquiring a possession will make us happy. Study after study contradicts this belief, but it's so dominant all but the most enlightened fall under it's bewitchment.  

Everything is on the line when you wake up. Looking at the cell phone is a plunge into the energy of others, the comparison traps of social media, and the anxiety of world news. It will start you off unbalanced and unfocused.

Dedicating the first moment of the day for yourself is the truest way to "look out for #1". A brief routine to consciously center oneself will make a remarkable impact on the rest of the waking hours.

Here is my current routine:

• ​Wake up without an active phone: Obviously nothing beats waking up naturally, but if an alarm in necessary use an alarm clock. Sunrise clocks offer a gentler way to be roused.  If you must use the cell phone, make sure it's on airplane mode before you sleep so that zero notifications will catch your attention as you turn off the alarm in the morning. The key here is not to get sucked into the device in this fragile, groggy state.
• Take a second to appreciate another day alive: Sometimes I verbally acknowledge this.
• Drink a glass of water: Hydrate yourself after many hours of no water.
• Meditate: I've been using the app Calm to keep consistent. Some of my friends like Headspace. Spotify is full of guided meditations. There are also many free ones on Soundcloud. A regular meditation practice will start bleeding into the rest of the day in fascinating ways. More and more often I break out of the spell of deep thought into the present moment.  Waves of emotion become less consuming as a gap appears between a sensation and a reaction.
• Journal: This is the daily briefing with the captain of the ship. Is the course optimal? I write down a few things about which I'm grateful, remind myself of who I am, and plan how to move through the day. 
• Cook and Eat Breakfast: Author Yuval Noah Harari describes how modern homo sapiens have lost most of their sense of taste. Our attention is now often on a screen, a conversation, or a thought instead of on our food. The morning is a chance to appreciate the stuff that's going into our bodies. Keep the phone off and savor the flavor, texture, and nourishing sensation of that breakfast.
• Phone on.. day started.

I'm always tweaking this routine and would appreciate any feedback to make the list better. What is your best tip to start the day right?