Travel Romance 2.0 - Revisiting an Overseas Lover

So you had a little travel fling.. right on! Romantic connection is a beautiful, enlivening thing, It's a mind expanding experience (if you are actually taking interest in the contents of each other's brains). 
 
Now you're back home and still flirting over a texting app. An invitation appears: "Come back and see me." You flip open your laptop and start browsing flights. 

It's an admirable move. The mark of a romantic soul. However, let's adjust expectations and strategy before buying that ticket. Misadventure may await you. Are you ready for it?
Consider this:

• There will be a disparity that didn't exist before - When the love began you had an agenda. You were traveling around Europe on a rail pass, or paragliding the Alps, or on some work project. You carved time out of that mission to make the romance happen. You may have been traveling with friends. You carved time out from hanging with your buddies to make the romance happen. The lover carved time out of their scene to be with you. These time choices send an appealing signal. Now you have no homies to hang with and you have a singular agenda. Meanwhile, they still have their friends to see, their work to do, their hobbies to pursue, etc. It's a whole different dynamic. There is an imbalance.
• The chemistry may not be there the second time around - How many romances have fizzled on the second or third date? Happens all the time. You both get a little familiar and discover unpalatable differences. He actually drinks way too much. She doesn't like the outdoors at all. It sure is nice to discover these differences down the block instead of oceans away.
• You could easily be stepping into a love triangle - Super common. Rocco tells Maria he needs a break. Maria goes out with her friends and meets you. Romance ensues. You're more exciting than Rocco has been for years, but you're also an unstable bet for anything long term. You go home which cements this point. Rocco comes back into the scene but he is halfhearted. Maria, feeling underappreciated, invites you back. When your ticket is booked she lets a little intel leak, giving Rocco a strategic hint: He better up his game.. there is a competitor on the way. Rocco doubles down to ward off the threat. He's all flowers and candlelight dinners now. You sit in the hotel room wondering when she's going to meet up. Enjoy your stay.

These are ever present possibilities, but don't be dissuaded. Instead, change your perspective and approach:

• Have an agenda - Come into the town with some purpose. Shoot a short film, take a yoga course, visit every crēperie in town and blog about the experience. Now you've got your own stuff going on... good for the relationship parity, and good for you.
• Prepare for absolute disaster - Develop a plan B in case things go in a direction you don't want to walk. Find a destination nearby you'd like to explore and be ready to turn your trip, or part of it, into an exploration of this new place.
• Suggest neutral ground - Instead of going to his/her homecourt, why not go somewhere that is new for both of you. A spot where neither person has work or friendship obligations. Find a special place where you can have an adventure together, sealing that moment in time as something uniquely shared between the two of you.

Revisiting a travel fling is always a toss of the dice, but with the right preparation you can stack the odds in favor of a winning roll. By setting a realistic frame and controling expectations one can have a memorable trip no matter which numbers turn up. And remember the goal is that both people end up feeling empowered from this interaction. Let's all leave a trail of beautiful memories in our wake. Be honest. Be kind. Be your best self.