Prisoner on Planet X - Road Less Traveled - Thailand

The driver approached with a funny look in his eyes. Suspicion gurgled in my consciousness.
“You know, I’m gonna take the bus,” I said.
The businessman frowned. He had convinced me the Grand Palace was closed and directed me somewhere else.
“Why would you take the bus? Just get in the tuk-tuk!”
But it was too late. I could see the angles now and narrowly escaped his trap.

Bangkok has an ultra-refined scammer scene, with the slickest con-artists I've ever met. They almost got me twice in the past. As I returned to film RLT in Thailand, it was my turn to get them.

While on break, I munched down a bag of fried bugs. The cameraman decided to spontaneously film. It turned into our number one video on youtube until the foot fetish community discovered our segment about reflexology and blew the clip up. I never thought much about my feet, but it’s flattering to see their popularity soar.

I have mixed feelings about the Mahouts and their elephants. On one hand, these people have a long tradition with the massive mammals. On the other hand, elephants are social creatures. Unlike tigers, they are not wired to live alone.

Can you imagine yourself getting captured by an advanced alien species? You would now spend the rest of your life without seeing another human. Let’s say they treated you well, providing a big apartment with sweeping views of Planet X and a fridge perpetually full of lasagna, ice cream, and beer. Occasionally they’d send you out to gather firewood. Would you be happy with that arrangement or would you be a lonely soul?

You could replicate my technique as I turn the tables on the scammers, however, there are three popular scams to absolutely avoid:

• Never buy jewelry thinking there is a special tax break.
• Never go into a person’s house and get cajoled into a card game for money.
• Never allow new local friends to take you to a bar and begin drinking without seeing a printed list of prices. 

Recommendations:

• Rent a motorcycle. Thailand is best explored on two wheels, as most locals do it. Fortunately rentals are ubiquitous and cheap. Check the brakes of your bike before you ride it out of the lot and make sure you understand the proper way to use them.
• Muay Thai = Muy buena forma. Want to get in peak shape for an economical price? Sign up for a month at a muay thai gym. It costs surprisingly little for food, lodging, and training. You’ll emerge lighter, tighter, and meaner than an alley cat.  

Watch this episode on the Travel Channel this Saturday at 9PM