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A Good Answer

1/23/2017

1 Comment

 
Picture
Arthur Uther Pendragon has a wealth of good answers
Don't give naked answers. This was the advice of my friend Max Sperber. To be fair he garnered the wisdom from a book, but he put his own nuance on the explanation, as I will now do. 

In a previous post I recommend asking better questions to dive deeper into knowledge and connection. But what if you're being asked something mundane? You can still adjust the depth of the conversation with this trick. If you want to engage with the querier, don't give a naked answer.

A naked, or stripped down, answer is straight to the point and superficial.
  • Routine question: What do you do?
  • Naked answer: I teach French.
This conversation will either end or move in a predictable direction: "Oh I've been to France," "I took some French classes as a kid," etc. If you're a French teacher you've had these kinds of talks plenty of times.

Now try this:
  • What do you do?
  • I try my best to teach people the beauty and knowledge that's entwined in the fabric of French. Did you know there are concepts in French, as in all languages, that can not be fully translated into another tongue? I'm excited for my students to gain the ability to communicate and connect with a wider slice of the world, but more than that, to be able to see life from a perspective only available to those who can think in French. Really that part of life's epic journey, isn't it.. widening perspective. What are some things that have widened your perspective of life?
One last example:
  • Where are you from?
  • Peoria, Illinois
VS.
  • Where are you from?
  • I'm from a tiny city in a middle of the United States. It was very suburban. To be honest, I would not wish the suburbs on anyone. It's a flawed concept. If you grow up in the country you learn how to work with your hands, you gain an appreciation for nature, and you form tight bonds with the small amount of people you'll know. If you grow up in the city you'll learn art, culture, tolerance, and acceptance of others. When you're in the burbs you're neither here nor there. Culture is going to the Olive Garden, you go to Quick-a-Lube to change your oil, and you're seperated from your neighbors by fences, yards, and social constructs. How much of a connection do you have with your neighbors and do you believe the design of the neighborhood affects the way you all socialize?

Now let me ask you this:. Where are you from? What do you do?
1 Comment
Katy
1/25/2017 01:32:10 am

Good idea, Jonathan! It seems like a communication training. Really it doesn't matter the places you've travelled but people you've met. Ok, I'll try to make a good answers.
I'm from one of the provincial towns of Russia that are similar to one another. There are lot of wild places, but most of it look like Antarctic continent - some buildings, big empty spaces and cold, for entertainment there are some books, records and a bar) The man who said, that Russia is Africa in the snow, was right. The cities like mine and it's locals don't change over the years, most of them don't even think to go somewhere and don't understand why it can be useful. I was occupied in a family business for a long time, but in a period of anti-government protests my innate sense of justice, a desire to make the country better and an adrenaline addiction, of course, pushed me to the different volunteer organizations. Participation in such events increases the circle of contacts significantly, it's the best way to meet many interesting, intelligent and courageous people in one place. But it is known that good intentions paved the road to hell, and it so happened that good people have played a bad role in a history, provoked a negative reaction.
My story is not very funny, i know)

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